Parenting

The UP Theory

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Stories of positive parenting
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This is a story my dad told me when I was in school but it continues to make a huge impact on the way I am today and helps me bring a positive attitude in my little son Vaidik too.

It is a story about two fathers who went out for a picnic with their kids to a nearby hill. They had a wonderful day fishing, eating sandwiches and fruits. Towards the end of their picnic, the kids tried to climb a tree at the hilltop when they both lost the grip of the foot and were stranded on top of the tree. they both tried to get down but their weights made the tree fall. the tree and kids both stood hanging at the corner of the hilltop. When the fathers heard their voice they ran to the rescue but couldn’t help so they called for help.

Now till the help comes fathers had to ensure the kids were safe. The tree kept further moving so fathers decide to shout and guide their kids.

The first father kept shouting “Don’t fall down we are coming to help you” while the second father shouted, ” Hold the tree tight we are coming to help you”.

Who do you think got hurt and who got saved in the story?

The first child heard his father “Don’t fall down”. The child’s little head understands and when his mind picturised it he saw an image of rocks falling down and so his mind played the trick and makes him fall down. This little child gets hurt.

The second child, on the other hand, hears his father as “Hold the tree tight” and so picturises how monkeys would cling and hold the trees and he does the same. And holds till his father comes to rescue.

The essence of the story is very clear it is important how parents communicate with children. It is important to help them see the positive side of a situation or a thing or an activity rather than telling them all about the failures and negatives. We have to tell them to stand UP after every fall. We have to tell them it’s okay to fail but it’s not okay to stop trying.

We have to choose the right way to communicate with kids, the right way to help them be self-confident, the right way to help them learn by experience and help them be independent.

They are going to grow fast and it is our job to help them grow just the right way, the positive way, the happy way.

Instead of saying don’t fall down we must choose words like get up, pick up yourself, good job.

Instead of saying don’t go out for a party with friends, we must choose to say come back soon, have a party at home, try hosting a party and I will help you.

Well, my parenting journey is a roller coaster ride but I feel the stories of positive parenting definitely needs to be penned down for other parents, parents to be, uncles, aunts etc.

Our children are constantly learning, so should we!

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Here is a infograph where I have put some positive words that can be used as alternatives to regular expressions parents might be using .

SAVE IT . SCREENSHOT IT. DOWNLOAD IT.

I know it’s not easy to switch to something new. But we all should try atleast once and see how our little ones react when we are thinking and saying POSITIVE!

Just shortly after Vaidik started crawling I introduced him to the word UP. I used this word always to encourage him to pull up, to stand up, to try and reach up. I could easily have said a lot of other things as well but I choose to do this consciously.

It took a solid foundation and shape when Vaidik started walking. Every now and then he would fall or topple or just loose his balance. This particularly was a difficult phase as I was always tempted to say don’t fall, don’t go there, don’t do this. But once again I remembered the picnic story that is when I decided to use the word UP all the time. It took me a few hours to realise how Vaidik reacted cheerfully everytime.

After a few falls Vaidik had started self motivating himself by saying UP. I am so happy that he is not afraid of a fall, he is looking forward to what happens next, he is not scared of falling, he loves to use the word UP because it gives him strength and confidence to get UP .

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A short poem I penned down to capture the essence

UP she said when I fell on the ground.
She didn’t come running to hold me instead
UP she said when I fell again on the ground.
She smiled this time and I could see her close
UP she said waving just touching my nose.
She clapped now when my bums took the bow
UP she said just wiping my tears in a row.
Years later today I failed a test
but all I remember is the best
UP she said try again and don’t rest.
UP she said when I fell on the ground.

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Stay tuned for the WOW THEORY NEXT WEEK.⏩

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